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Clear agreements around the actions we take create the safety that allows intimacy to flourish. My guess is that she has had disappointing experiences with a man around this issue in the past, which is why it hangs as such a red flag in her vision. As any therapist will tell you, so is the human heart and all its hurts. Be nuanced, sensitive, varied, exploratory, rigorously clear, playful, true, fiercely honest. As such, sex allows us to feel parts of ourselves that remain otherwise unfelt and simmering.
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It gives us the mojo to do anything at all, really. In the absence of that victory, a strip club or a porn video will provide the rush of endorphins and serotonin that makes him feel a bit better about himself for a while. Within the context of intimacy, clear, mutually-agreed upon boundaries on actions actually promotes a whole new realm of freedom.
It is dazzling and shocking. As any art lover will tell you, so is Picasso. It is as varied as our full range of emotional reality. That said, there remains lots of porn that makes so many women rightfully queasy, south carolina speed dating and I believe that men need to be sensitive to this. Sexuality is not monochrome.
That is a male fantasy by the way. Freedom is neither pure nor purely good. Old pains will be triggered and fury, regret, revenge and fear will express itself in pounding fists and wild words, biting teeth and thrashing. As Jung said, that which gets repressed, will be expressed. But sex is, definitely, messy.
Masculine sexuality is pre-programmed to be allured to variety and to youth. And we are each stumbling our way toward self-understanding.
It carries dangers and will often leave feelings hurt and the status-quo threatened. Yes, men are more visual than women when it comes to sexuality. But as any theater-goer will attest, so is Shakespeare. Which I celebrate, rather than excoriate.
Repressed joy will express as demonic screams escaping from hidden cells. What feels titillating to men will often seem terrifying to women on a visceral level, often calling up memories of abuse or experience of deep unsafety. Stick with positive messaging. If we, as men and women, are to support each other and help each other self-express and evolve into more aware, considerate, loving beings, it begins with empathy. Second, in porn, the pleasure of the woman is almost always subordinate to the visual completion of the man.
As any pundit will tell you, so is politics. What I want you to know is that the reward for our labor is the surrender of your smile and the lavishing of your attention which explains why porn actresses are instructed to look into the camera. Women often remind men that actions speak louder than words. And, just as in days of old, men throw money as an offering of gratitude and worship.
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